Much has been said about how to be a good host, but far less about how to be a good guest — particularly when your visit stretches beyond just a couple of days. Whether you’re staying with close family or distant acquaintances, being a guest comes with real responsibilities. Hosting can be a joy, but it can also be exhausting, even for the most enthusiastic of hosts.
Having lived abroad for many years, we’ve had plenty of experience welcoming guests — and hearing stories from others who do the same. Based on these experiences, here’s a practical guide to being the kind of guest everyone loves to have.
Communicate Clearly from the Start
The foundation of a smooth visit is clear, early communication. Confirm your travel dates well ahead of time, and keep your host updated if there are any changes. Be precise about your arrival and departure times — don’t leave your host guessing when you’re coming or how long you’re staying.
If you’re planning outings, visiting other friends, or doing independent activities, let your host know in advance. This consideration helps them plan their time and reduces any awkwardness or misunderstandings.
Do Some Research Beforehand
Unless your host has explicitly offered to act as your tour guide, don’t show up expecting them to plan your entire stay. Have a rough idea of what you’d like to see and do. A bit of research shows that you respect their time and are eager to make the most of your trip without placing unnecessary pressure on them.
A quick look online or a borrowed travel guide can go a long way.
Respect Their Routine
While you might be on vacation, your host likely isn’t. They still have jobs, school runs, errands, and personal routines. Even if they aren’t currently working, it’s unreasonable to expect that they’ll set everything aside for your visit. Be mindful of their schedule, and stay flexible and self-sufficient wherever possible.
Be Upfront About Dietary Needs
If you follow a special diet, be sure to communicate that clearly ahead of time. In some places, sourcing specific foods can be difficult or expensive. If your needs are particular, consider bringing essential items with you (if customs allow) and be willing to adapt a little during your stay. Don’t expect your host to make elaborate adjustments unless they volunteer to.
Arrive with a Small Gift
It’s always thoughtful to arrive with a small token of appreciation. It doesn’t have to be extravagant — a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, or a specialty from your hometown is a perfect gesture. When in doubt, consumable gifts are ideal, as they don’t add permanent clutter.
If you’re especially close to your host, you might even ask if there’s something they’d like you to bring. Another thoughtful offer: ask if you should bring your own bedsheets and towels. Even if your host declines, the offer shows you understand the work involved in hosting.
Keep Your Belongings in Check
Treat your host’s home with the same respect you would want for your own. Keep your belongings neatly organized, especially in shared spaces. Devices, chargers, shoes, bags, and children’s toys shouldn’t be scattered all over the living room or kitchen.
If you’re doing laundry during your stay, fold and put away your clothes promptly — don’t leave them sitting in the dryer or on the line for days.
Mind Your Bathroom Manners
If you’re sharing a bathroom, extra courtesy is essential. Bring your own toiletries and avoid using your host’s supplies without asking. Keep surfaces clean, hang up your towels properly, and manage your own bathroom trash. Coordinating shower times can also help avoid bottlenecks, especially on busy mornings.
Follow House Rules
Every home has its own rhythms and unspoken rules. Pay attention, ask questions if you’re unsure, and adapt quickly. Common expectations might include:
- Removing shoes at the door
- Respecting pet boundaries
- Keeping food in designated areas
- Keeping noise down during early mornings or late nights
- Being mindful with utilities like heating, air conditioning, and hot water
- Not inviting others over without permission
- Asking before using a car or other personal items
Following house rules not only shows respect but also helps you blend seamlessly into your host’s household.
Offer to Help
Staying with friends or family is not a hotel experience. Step up and help with daily tasks: clear the table, do the dishes, cook a meal, or tidy shared spaces. If your hosts have young children, offering to babysit for an evening can be a much-appreciated treat.
Little gestures of help show your gratitude far more than words alone.
Contribute Financially
Especially if you’re staying more than a few nights, it’s important to pitch in financially. Buying groceries, treating your host to a meal, or offering to cover fuel costs if you’re using their car are all meaningful ways to show appreciation. Even if you’ve spent significant money traveling to visit, it’s considerate to recognize that hosting has real costs too.
Be Generous When Dining Out
When dining out or doing group activities, make sure your host isn’t constantly footing the bill. Offering to pay or splitting costs fairly keeps things comfortable and fair — and leaves a great impression.
Know When It’s Time to Go
One of the golden rules of being a good guest is knowing when to leave. No matter how close you are to your hosts, never assume you can stay indefinitely. Discuss the length of your stay beforehand, and stick to it. If you’re unsure, err on the side of a shorter visit.
It’s always better to leave while you’re still being missed!
Leave Your Space Neat and Tidy
Before you go, make sure you leave your guest room or sleeping area as clean as you found it — if not cleaner. Empty the trash, pack up your belongings, and check if your host would like you to strip the bed or start a load of laundry. Small acts of consideration as you leave are the final thank-you for your host’s generosity.
Final Thoughts
Being a great guest doesn’t require grand gestures — just a little thoughtfulness, respect, and gratitude. A mindful visitor not only strengthens their relationships but also ensures they’re warmly welcomed back in the future.
Happy visiting!
